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Lions and Wolves

A few times on Twitter, I've seen two types of complaints. People with diagnosed Personality Disorders (e.g. Narcissistic / Borderline) complaining that people don't give them a chance and that they feel sad. People complaining that we shouldn't diagnose other people, because we aren't a psychiatrist. I'm going to address these using analogies of Lions and Wolves. Analogy 1 - The Room With The Wild Lion Let's say I present you with two choices: A. Spend 5 minutes in a small room with a wild lion. B. Don't spend 5 minutes in a small room with a wild lion. Which one are you going to pick, if you want to survive? Option B, of course. Yeah, the lion might feel sad and lonely, but guess what, you didn't risk getting a leg bitten off. You didn't die. You took the right choice for you. Maybe there is someone out there who can safely spend time in a room with a lion without getting hurt, but you're not that person. The lion would've been happy, if on...

"They could start an argument in an empty house."

Was just watching this video,  https://youtu.be/mHHXxA3FYt4, and at the start she said  "It normally takes two people to have an argument" It reminded me of a (Scottish?) expression I once heard: "They could start an argument in an empty house." And I just remembered how often I used to think that during the relationship. Another phrase I've used a lot over the years to describe a narcissist in my life is: "If they won the lottery jackpot, they'd ring up and complain that the cheque was the wrong colour." Another video I saw recently said that when trying to describe a narcissist to someone in authority (like a child protective services, a judge or the police), you shouldn't use the word "narcissist" as it will actually count against you; because you, a non-psychiatrist, 'diagnosed' someone else, so you are the labelled as the inappropriate one.  But the helpful advice in that video was to use the word "antagonistic...

Interesting info on how to support someone with ADHD

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Some people just want to argue

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A fun fact about living with narcissists...

 A fun fact about living with narcissists is that there is nothing fun about living with a narcissist.

You don't have to turn up to every argument you're invited to.

 You don't have to turn up to every argument you're invited to.

Don't take the bait - don't feed them JADE!

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Narcissists need attention of any kind, and learn that a surefire way to get attention is to create drama and conflict - arguments about pointless stuff. For example, a 33-word message about a bike day at school will go like this. There is a bike day at school next Thursday. [Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house. He can collect his bike from my house instead. That was a classic three part "bait sandwich" - did you see it? Opener: "There is a bike day at school next Thursday." Bait: "[Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house." Closer/Glory-seeking: "He can collect his bike from my house instead." The opener sets the stage, lulling you into a false sense of security. But the second sentence is the bait.  Instantly, after 15 years of abuse, you recoil to the defensive, with factual statements like: "I don't make him ride it!" "It's an old bike he has a...