You don't have to turn up to every argument you're invited to.

 You don't have to turn up to every argument you're invited to.

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Circle of Security

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Circle of Security has some great tools including explanations of how to "be with" kids having difficult feelings.  I've had amazing results from using these techniques when my kids are having big emotions. The concept of "Shark Music" in the second video is a powerful way to understand why sometimes as a parent I react in automatic ways that are harmful. Noticing the shark music helps me to stop and try the "Being With" technique. In the video they asssume that the "shark music" is a response to how your parents parented you, but it could be from other bad relationships you've had. I think "noticing the shark music" is yet another thing that is easier to do if you practice mindfulness.
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An idiot's reckons on ADHD

As an uninformed idiot, I think, if I got myselft tested by a medical professional, I would be diagnosed with ADHD.  Everything I read about it just seems so familiar. The "strategies for coping with ADHD" are things I had to work out for myself several decades ago. ADHD isn't a problem; modern society is. Modern society requires that you focus on the thing other people want you to focus on, at the time other people want you to focus on it. Modern society requires that you don't have any control over your own focus. You have to think to a schedule at school and at work. Ritalin helps you to conform; it's benefit isn't the conforming; the benefit is that by conforming your self-esteem isn't eroded by constant failures to focus where other people want you to. If Leonardo Da Vinci had Ritalin, he'd have probably been a really successful mediocre administrative drone for the Medici family.
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