Good point about Boundary Setting
Important: Often, when you first set and actually enforce a boundary, the other person’s words and emotional reactions get worse as they try to bluster and bully and manipulate you into compliance, but their behavior gets better. It’s often referred to as an “extinction burst” when the boundary-crossing or -disrespecting person senses their control slipping and in panic they throw everything possible at the problem in hopes that you’ll decide it’s just “easier” to do what they want. They’ll often “neg” you – calling you “selfish” or “ungrateful” is pretty common – in order to try to blame you for how they are behaving and trick you into proving you are not that thing (by doing what they want).
A succinct explanation of what happens when you first start setting boundaries in an existing relationship. It's kinda fun watching the flailing when it happens, them throwing EVERYTHING at you at once, hoping something, anything, will let them go back to the good old days before there were boundaries. The confusion on their faces when the old lines and the new ones don't work is beautiful; but only if you are mindful enough to enjoy it instead of getting sucked into reacting to the torrent of taunts.
From https://captainawkward.com/2022/01/18/1364-gender-is-elusive-and-i-cannot-teach-it-to-you-mother/
