Some people just want to argue


 

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An idiot's reckons on ADHD

As an uninformed idiot, I think, if I got myselft tested by a medical professional, I would be diagnosed with ADHD.  Everything I read about it just seems so familiar. The "strategies for coping with ADHD" are things I had to work out for myself several decades ago. ADHD isn't a problem; modern society is. Modern society requires that you focus on the thing other people want you to focus on, at the time other people want you to focus on it. Modern society requires that you don't have any control over your own focus. You have to think to a schedule at school and at work. Ritalin helps you to conform; it's benefit isn't the conforming; the benefit is that by conforming your self-esteem isn't eroded by constant failures to focus where other people want you to. If Leonardo Da Vinci had Ritalin, he'd have probably been a really successful mediocre administrative drone for the Medici family.
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Good point about Boundary Setting

Important : Often, when you first set and actually enforce a boundary, the other person’s words and emotional reactions get worse as they try to bluster and bully and manipulate you into compliance, but their  behavior  gets better. It’s often referred to as an “extinction burst” when the boundary-crossing or -disrespecting person senses their control slipping and in panic they throw everything possible at the problem in hopes that you’ll decide it’s just “easier” to do what they want. They’ll often “neg” you – calling you “selfish” or “ungrateful” is pretty common – in order to try to blame you for how they are behaving and trick you into proving you are not that thing (by doing what they want). A succinct explanation of what happens when you first start setting boundaries in an existing relationship. It's kinda fun watching the flailing when it happens, them throwing EVERYTHING at you at once, hoping something, anything, will let them go back to the good old days before ther...
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Don't take the bait - don't feed them JADE!

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Narcissists need attention of any kind, and learn that a surefire way to get attention is to create drama and conflict - arguments about pointless stuff. For example, a 33-word message about a bike day at school will go like this. There is a bike day at school next Thursday. [Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house. He can collect his bike from my house instead. That was a classic three part "bait sandwich" - did you see it? Opener: "There is a bike day at school next Thursday." Bait: "[Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house." Closer/Glory-seeking: "He can collect his bike from my house instead." The opener sets the stage, lulling you into a false sense of security. But the second sentence is the bait.  Instantly, after 15 years of abuse, you recoil to the defensive, with factual statements like: "I don't make him ride it!" "It's an old bike he has a...
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