Co-Parenting With A Narcissist

Another good video about co-parenting with a narcissist.

The slide of the "challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist" is spot on.



Popular posts from this blog

An idiot's reckons on ADHD

As an uninformed idiot, I think, if I got myselft tested by a medical professional, I would be diagnosed with ADHD.  Everything I read about it just seems so familiar. The "strategies for coping with ADHD" are things I had to work out for myself several decades ago. ADHD isn't a problem; modern society is. Modern society requires that you focus on the thing other people want you to focus on, at the time other people want you to focus on it. Modern society requires that you don't have any control over your own focus. You have to think to a schedule at school and at work. Ritalin helps you to conform; it's benefit isn't the conforming; the benefit is that by conforming your self-esteem isn't eroded by constant failures to focus where other people want you to. If Leonardo Da Vinci had Ritalin, he'd have probably been a really successful mediocre administrative drone for the Medici family.
Read more

Circle of Security

Image
Circle of Security has some great tools including explanations of how to "be with" kids having difficult feelings.  I've had amazing results from using these techniques when my kids are having big emotions. The concept of "Shark Music" in the second video is a powerful way to understand why sometimes as a parent I react in automatic ways that are harmful. Noticing the shark music helps me to stop and try the "Being With" technique. In the video they asssume that the "shark music" is a response to how your parents parented you, but it could be from other bad relationships you've had. I think "noticing the shark music" is yet another thing that is easier to do if you practice mindfulness.
Read more

Good point about Boundary Setting

Important : Often, when you first set and actually enforce a boundary, the other person’s words and emotional reactions get worse as they try to bluster and bully and manipulate you into compliance, but their  behavior  gets better. It’s often referred to as an “extinction burst” when the boundary-crossing or -disrespecting person senses their control slipping and in panic they throw everything possible at the problem in hopes that you’ll decide it’s just “easier” to do what they want. They’ll often “neg” you – calling you “selfish” or “ungrateful” is pretty common – in order to try to blame you for how they are behaving and trick you into proving you are not that thing (by doing what they want). A succinct explanation of what happens when you first start setting boundaries in an existing relationship. It's kinda fun watching the flailing when it happens, them throwing EVERYTHING at you at once, hoping something, anything, will let them go back to the good old days before ther...
Read more