Don't Talk To The Police

 


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The Scorpion and The Frog

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A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog says "no", knowing that the scorpion will sting and kill it, and swims across the river on it's own, arriving safely at the other side. The scorpion sends a long text message to the frog, ending with "the way you treated me was cruel and unjustifiable. Out of respect for myself I am closing this chapter. I wish you peace as I move forward without you in any aspect of my life." The frog just LOLed at that bullshit and forwarded the message to all his friends.
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You Will Piss In A Toaster

“Piss in a toaster” is a term for something technical-sounding that’s been promised to the CEO, that is pointless, wasteful, very risky, burns out your staff and offers no benefits to anyone. It sounds like such a simple request, so middle management feels shy about asking too many questions about why exactly it needs to be done in case they get targeted in the next restructure, and just to make sure it's done. Then once it’s promised, no wants to ask the CEO why it needs to be done in case they look dumb. Here are some of the things you will hear from the manager who has told the CEO that you will piss in a toaster for them: “I told the CEO we can piss in a toaster for $1000. I’ve done the hard part of researching it. Now you just need to piss in the toaster by next Tuesday!” “I looked online, and ordered a toaster off Amazon for $20. Why won’t you just piss in the toaster for the CEO?” “The CEO is always right! Just piss in the toaster.” “What if I get one of those 4 slice toaste...
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Narcissist Bubble Popping Phrase - Nuclear Option

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  Saw this at the weekend, and holy cow, this is the perfect three-word phrase to pop a narcissists bubble in a moment. I think it's a "nuclear option" if you have to see them again, because although it would totally work in the moment, they will be unable to take ownership of the embarrassment/shame you briefly instill in them, and will somehow try to DARVO it onto you later. But it would be ideal for dealing with a one-off narcissist, like someone acting obnoxiously in public place such as a restaurant or shop - and far better if it comes from a anonymous bystander, than from the waiter/shop assistant themselves.
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