"reasons are for reasonable people"

 From: https://captainawkward.com/2022/05/10/1374-help-a-tutor-keeps-asking-me-for-personal-details/

Popular posts from this blog

Narcissist Bubble Popping Phrase - Nuclear Option

Image
  Saw this at the weekend, and holy cow, this is the perfect three-word phrase to pop a narcissists bubble in a moment. I think it's a "nuclear option" if you have to see them again, because although it would totally work in the moment, they will be unable to take ownership of the embarrassment/shame you briefly instill in them, and will somehow try to DARVO it onto you later. But it would be ideal for dealing with a one-off narcissist, like someone acting obnoxiously in public place such as a restaurant or shop - and far better if it comes from a anonymous bystander, than from the waiter/shop assistant themselves.
Read more

The Spreadsheet Of Happiness

As an IT Consultant, I decided to handle my mid-life crisis in the most Consultant way possible. I’ve ended up with my own spreadsheet fusing “Seinfeld Streaks”, Gamification, Lead Measurements and other shit I’ve either read about or made up, and it has worked for me. I’ve decided to share it in the hope it helps one other person. The Origin Of My Spreadsheet Born out of a fusion of the “Seinfeld Streaks” and “Lead Measurements”, I first made a small table on paper showing every day of the month, measuring every day whether I did 4 things that I felt were important. I chose them pretty arbitrarily, on the principle that something was better than nothing, and the initial goals were: 10K steps every day (I have a Fitbit) Meditating every day for at least 3 minutes Doing at least one press up Doing at least one sit up From this basic table that I carried in my notebook, it rapidly escalated to a Google Spreadsheet that I update every day. The advantage of a Google spreadsheet is that it ...
Read more

Narcissism is a negative sum, infinite game

Image
If you look into game theory, there are several types of game, e.g., negative sum and zero sum games. See  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_theory Simon Sinek then talks about finite and infinite games.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Infinite_Game ---- In a narcissistic relationship you are playing an infinite game; multiple rounds, and for each round, the  score mostly is negative, because they set you up with no-win situations.  (I'll admit they sprinkle in a few wins, just to keep you playing, a bit like a one-armed bandit does) I say negative score, because even when the narcissist "wins", they really aren't ever "happier" for it. How low can you go before you realise, like WOPR did, "The only winning move is not to play?"
Read more