A Feel Good Song for a Tuesday Morning

 


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The Scorpion and The Frog

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A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog says "no", knowing that the scorpion will sting and kill it, and swims across the river on it's own, arriving safely at the other side. The scorpion sends a long text message to the frog, ending with "the way you treated me was cruel and unjustifiable. Out of respect for myself I am closing this chapter. I wish you peace as I move forward without you in any aspect of my life." The frog just LOLed at that bullshit and forwarded the message to all his friends.
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You Will Piss In A Toaster

“Piss in a toaster” is a term for something technical-sounding that’s been promised to the CEO, that is pointless, wasteful, very risky, burns out your staff and offers no benefits to anyone. It sounds like such a simple request, so middle management feels shy about asking too many questions about why exactly it needs to be done in case they get targeted in the next restructure, and just to make sure it's done. Then once it’s promised, no wants to ask the CEO why it needs to be done in case they look dumb. Here are some of the things you will hear from the manager who has told the CEO that you will piss in a toaster for them: “I told the CEO we can piss in a toaster for $1000. I’ve done the hard part of researching it. Now you just need to piss in the toaster by next Tuesday!” “I looked online, and ordered a toaster off Amazon for $20. Why won’t you just piss in the toaster for the CEO?” “The CEO is always right! Just piss in the toaster.” “What if I get one of those 4 slice toaste...
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