Half Dad, Half Misfit

 

 

 My life is like a tricycle - and the three wheels are sleep, diet and exercise. If I eat the wrong foods, I'll get a carb-coma, sleep badly, and I won't have energy for exercise. If I don't exercise, I sleep badly and the next day, my energy level drops and I crave sugary/caffeinated foods If I don't get enough sleep, I feel too tired to exercise and I crave sugary/caffeinated foods If just one wheel of the tricycle is missing, the whole thing just drags over and crashes in the dirt. And if my tricycle isn't working, I won't stand a chance of juggling my kids, my work or a social life. For me, Self Care involves: Avoiding "white carbohydrates"; these foods make me feel bloated, woolly-brained or tired Avoiding sugary foods; these foods give me a short sugar rush followed by a bigger sugar crash Eating lots of fruit and vegetables, with sensible amounts of meat and dairy Going to bed at 10pm, and getting up at 6:30am, so I get at least 8 hours of sleep...

I've spent a lot of time thinking about discomfort and resentment lately, and then unrelatedly had to think kindly of Real Estate Agents. I think I figured out why the population 'hates' Real Estate Agents, but still keep paying massive fees to them to do their job, year after year, even though the Internet exists now as a way of sellers and buyers to find each other. People feel really uncomfortable talking about money at the best of times; talking about the sums of money involved in buying a house is REALLY uncomfortable. The real estate agent is a person who sits between potential buyers and sellers and absorbs that discomfort.  Their real service is not the advertising and open homes - it is the absorption of discomfort. e.g. haggling over price with a dispassionate middle-man is easier than looking the other person in the eye. In addition, when people start feeling resentment about the 1.5% fees they pay the agent, the agent also implicitly allows the seller to misplac...

I can get behind this sentiment: "You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger  You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm"

Circle of Security has some great tools including explanations of how to "be with" kids having difficult feelings.  I've had amazing results from using these techniques when my kids are having big emotions. The concept of "Shark Music" in the second video is a powerful way to understand why sometimes as a parent I react in automatic ways that are harmful. Noticing the shark music helps me to stop and try the "Being With" technique. In the video they asssume that the "shark music" is a response to how your parents parented you, but it could be from other bad relationships you've had. I think "noticing the shark music" is yet another thing that is easier to do if you practice mindfulness.

A song about living your best life