The Spreadsheet Of Happiness
As an IT Consultant, I decided to handle my mid-life crisis in the most Consultant way possible.
I’ve ended up with my own spreadsheet fusing “Seinfeld Streaks”, Gamification, Lead Measurements and other shit I’ve either read about or made up, and it has worked for me.
I’ve decided to share it in the hope it helps one other person.
The Origin Of My Spreadsheet
Born out of a fusion of the “Seinfeld Streaks” and “Lead Measurements”, I first made a small table on paper showing every day of the month, measuring every day whether I did 4 things that I felt were important. I chose them pretty arbitrarily, on the principle that something was better than nothing, and the initial goals were:
- 10K steps every day (I have a Fitbit)
- Meditating every day for at least 3 minutes
- Doing at least one press up
- Doing at least one sit up
From this basic table that I carried in my notebook, it rapidly escalated to a Google Spreadsheet that I update every day. The advantage of a Google spreadsheet is that it is automatically backed up in the cloud and I can access it from any computer or phone when I want to edit it.
There were three main concepts I started with:
Seinfeld Streaks
“Seinfeld Streaks” are from an anecdote about how Jerry Seinfeld keeps writing jokes every day — he has a calendar on the wall, and every day he writes a joke he puts a cross on the calendar. Once he has a streak of X’s on the wall, he wants to keep writing a joke a day to keep the streak running.
Lead Measures
“Lead Measures” was a concept I learned from a book called Deep Work by Cal Newport. A lead measure is when you measure something that you believe is likely linked to an outcome you want.
For example. a salesman, measuring if he has hit his sales target is using a “lag measure” — he’s measuring AFTER the work, when it’s too late to control the outcome. However, if the salesman believes that cold calling generates a percentage of new leads, that will in turn lead to new sales, he could use “number of cold calls per day” as a “lead measure”. If he makes at least one cold call a day, he will improve his odds of finding new leads that lead to sales. This assumes that his cold calling technique is good; but even better, even if his cold calling technique is shit, he’ll be practicing it every day, and hopefully getting better every time.
In my case, I took my belief that there was a relationship between walking, meditating and exercising that would make me feel fitter and happier, and decided to use those as “lead measures” instead of using a “lag measure” like body weight.
Do At Least One
Finally, I used the concept of “do at least one” to avoid procrastinating about exercise.
If I set myself a target of 100 press ups a day, that involves a significant amount of time, and just imagining it makes me feel sweaty, think about having to get changed into sports gear, worry about how recently I ate and whether I might puke, and needing a shower at the end.
But, how about I just tell myself I need to do ONLY ONE press up. I can convince myself that it is easy, and I can just do one right now and tick off today on the streak. And then, since I’m down on the floor now, why not see how many I can do?
(I’m up to twenty five press-ups now; I never said I was a fitness guru. 100 still seems like a distant goal.)
The Expansion Of My Spreadsheet
I’m not going to go into justifications for every one of my “lead measures”; the point is that I believe that they measure things that will lead to me being happier, healthier and generally a better person.
I’m also going to miss out some of my personal lead measures. I believe that you need to work out what you believe is important to your personal success, and then track it. “What gets measured gets done”. The flip side is that you need to measure the right things. I believe that if I give myself points for every can of Coke I drink, that will actually undermine my long term goal of reducing my diabetes risk and losing weight.
The inspiration for some of these lead measures come from self-help, pop-psychology, habit-stacking and generally interesting books I have read recently (e.g. The Willpower Instinct suggests a link between sleep and exercise to having more willpower, and willpower will help me with other challenges I face during the day)
My lead measures seem to work for me. They may not work for you.
Gamification
I decided that some days I wouldn’t be able to keep all my streaks going, so to encourage myself, I decided to start scoring myself instead of just using Xs. Some lead measures are worth 1 point. Some are worth multiple points, where I believe it makes sense.
Sleep
I believe that getting eight hours of sleep a night makes me feel better the next day, so first thing in the morning, I measure how much time I spent in bed. I figure that if I spend the time in bed, the quality of sleep, although important, will be less important than getting a decent quantity.
I start counting from the time the lights and phones are off, and my head hits the pillow.
If I spent 8 hours in bed, then I get one point.
Getting Up Early
To get to work on time without rushing, I can get up at 7:00am, so if I’m out of bed before 7:00am I get one point. No points for oversleeping. Unless oversleeping will get me to my “eight hours in bed” target.
But I also believe that getting up before 7:00am gives me more time to do things like meditation, reading or exercise, so I give myself one point for every 30 minutes before 7:00am that I get up. If I get up before 6:30am, I get one point. If I get up before 6:00am, I get two points.
I believe that getting up before 5:30am is counterproductive as I will feel more tired during the day, and don’t give myself points for doing that.
Go To Bed Early
I believe that getting eight hours sleep is important, so I give myself points depending on how early I go to bed, with incentives to go to bed at 9:30pm, 10:00pm, 10:30pm, and no points if I go to bed later than that. On bad days, the prospect of three “easy” points for crawling into bed beat the alternatives, yet set me up for a better day in the morning.
Personal Standards
As readers of my Twitter and Medium may be aware, I really fucking hate my job (as of October 2017). I decided to set some personal standards that seem to regenerate some self-respect that gets depleted every day at work.
If I shave on any given day, I get a point. This gives me an incentive to care about my personal appearance first thing in the morning, which seems to start the self-respect snowball rolling.
Self Care
For any meal I cook myself that includes vegetables, I give myself a point. If I have toast and cereal for breakfast, no points. If I prepare ham and cheese on toast, no points. If I prepare mushrooms on toast, that’s a point. I don’t get these points for eating food someone else prepared. The point is to make me want to make healthier food. I can score a maximum of three points per day this way.
Saying Thank You
I believe that being grateful makes someone else happier, and somehow rebounds happiness onto yourself, too. I try to say a sincere “thank you” to at least one person per day. It could be your kid’s sports coach, the bus driver, your boss, a colleague, or the person who serves you in a shop. I can’t see any way that letting someone else know that they are valued could go wrong.
Spend Time Communicating With Family or Friends
I believe humans are social animals, and that if you neglect interaction with others your self-esteem will suffer. If you spend all your time commuting and working, and never socialising, I believe that is bad.
I have family around the world, so I decided that virtual communications on Facebook, Email or Skype count, but I don’t believe that clicking “like” on a Facebook post counts.
Going to a party counts. Meeting a friend for coffee counts. Hanging out at a friend’s house counts. Hanging out with other members of a sports club after the game counts.
Going to a mandatory works lunch with people I don’t like doesn’t count.
For any day where I communicate with my extended family or friends, I get one point.
Work
I attempted to gamify work.
I sometimes feel isolated in my role. I give myself points for meeting with customers, colleagues or suppliers, as meeting with people makes me feel less isolated and reconnects me with the people my work helps.
I also give myself points for “decent deliverables”; I know what that means; I don’t give myself points for busywork, but do give myself points for work that is actually useful.
Physical Exercise
I believe that if I do more physical exercise I will get stronger and feel better. I give myself points for things like:
- “Do one press up a day”
- “Do one pull up a day”
- “Do one sit up a day”
- “Do one squat a day”
- “Do a one plank a day”
- “How many active hours can I get on my Fitbit” (maximum 14 points)
- “How many steps can I get on my Fitbit” (1 point per 10,000 steps)
Brain Exercise
I believe that meditation, reading and learning new things make me feel good. I give myself points for things like:
- “Complete one sudoku” — I figure this helps develop my concentration and focus
- “Read a book for 10 minutes” — carrying ebooks on your phone, you can do this anywhere; waiting in a cafe, on the bus; it stops me wasting so much time on Twitter and Facebook.
- “Meditate for 10 minutes” — I originally started with 3 minute meditations, and now aim for at least 10 minutes. Being able to “go to the balcony” and realise what you are feeling and why has been useful to me.
- “Write for 10 minutes” — I think writing out our thoughts, like this post I’m writing now, is a great way to understand your own thinking; pulling out tangled trains of thought and arranging them on paper in neat lines helps free up thinking power for other stuff.
- “Juggle for 10 minutes” — I read that learning to juggle can improve your hand-eye co-ordination, and daily practice is a way for me to learn anything. So, a point for daily practice.
- “Watch 1 technical training module” — I work in IT, and want to learn new skills. I have a list of stuff I’ve realised I don’t know. Every day I try to learn about one of those things. Usually, it involves learning that there are other things I don’t understand, so I add those to the list of known unknowns. In my field there are free training videos on Youtube, Vendor websites or Khan Academy, most of them under 5 or 10 minutes. Is there something you want to learn but never have time? 5 minutes a day adds up to 30 hours a year.
Food
I believe that food and drink can affect your health. I give myself points for:
- “Drink one cup of coffee a day” — there is research that indicates it may help with one of my medical conditions. I prefer to drink tea, but drink one coffee a day in the hope I keep my symptoms away.
- “One Point Per Portion of Fruit or Vegetable” — I believe that eating “nine a day” is good for my health.
- “Eat one portion of seeds and nuts per day” — I make small pots of seed and nut scroggin every day, on the assumption that the oils and fats in nuts are good for me and will reduce my cravings for oils and fats in the fast foods that I love, like KFC and Carls Jr.
Doing Something For Someone Else
If I do something to help someone else, I get a point:
- pick up a hitchhiker: one point,
- donate time to the school PTA, one point
- I don’t get points for donating cash or dumping my crap at a charity shop.
When you do something for other people, it makes them feel good, and gives you a hit of serotonin, which makes you feel good. If you have time, I recommend volunteering some of your time to help other people.
An Idea I Haven’t Used Yet: Negative Points
Humans are naturally primed not to like losing things.
I’m tempted to add some “negative points” — e.g. for eating fast food, eating white carbs, drinking alcohol, eating too much meat or dairy, watching reality TV, or anything else I believe undermines my long term goals.
I think that losing points would make me consider my long term goals and make different decisions to avoid losing points. I haven’t implemented “minus points” yet. I’m scared of “shame” effects undermining the spreadsheet. And how many points I would lose.
What The Spreadsheet Looks Like
The overall spreadsheet looks like below, or you can open a sample here. This is not the best spreadsheet in the world, this is just a tribute.
[link has been lost to the enshittification of the internet]
Conclusion
I haven’t shared everything I do, as some of them are more personal than the ones above. But they work for me.
I consider any day where I score more than 30 points a “good day”. Sometimes in the evening, I’ll realise I’m still in the mid twenties, and will do a binge of activities to get more points before I go to bed.
I am now losing weight, eating healthier, physically stronger, and happier. I can’t prove this spreadsheet did all of this, but I believe it helped.
Filling in the spreadsheet every day gives me lots of little dopamine hits, which keeps me trying to score more points. I find myself sitting in front of TV in the evening, aware that I’m not earning any points, and I get up and do something different. In the lunch queue, I choose my foods to maximise my points.
And then I think I get compound effects. Because I’m less likely to flop into an armchair and watch crap on TV, I see less adverts and less aspirational lifestyle propaganda like The Block NZ, so there are less opportunities for companies to chip away at my self-esteem for having the wrong car, for not having an iPhone, for having painted my lounge in “last year’s colours”, or for eating the wrong brand of breakfast cereal.
It works for me.
I hope the idea helps you too.
Thanks for reading; I appreciate you spending your time reading this, and hope you achieve your goals, however you do it. (I’m totally banking that last sentence for my “thanking someone” points today)
