The next few posts

Over the next few weeks I'll be rescuing posts from an old blog and reposting them here. Re-reading them has reminded me how toxic my old job was, and how good my current job is. But some of them have relevance to abusive relationships, even if they were workplace instead of home...

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Audiobook: "Loonshots" by Safi Bahcall

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A book about corporate cultures and how they can inhibit innovation or encourage it. It was a long book filled with many stories, was enjoyable, but I only got two real ideas from it: Strategy Innovation vs Product Innovation - both are important Balancing your organisation at a critical point between two states - ensuring that the "franchise" part of the business balances with the "loonshot" part of the business, with neither part of the business stifling the other part. Enjoyable listen, 4/5 for the excellent anecdotes.
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You Will Piss In A Toaster

“Piss in a toaster” is a term for something technical-sounding that’s been promised to the CEO, that is pointless, wasteful, very risky, burns out your staff and offers no benefits to anyone. It sounds like such a simple request, so middle management feels shy about asking too many questions about why exactly it needs to be done in case they get targeted in the next restructure, and just to make sure it's done. Then once it’s promised, no wants to ask the CEO why it needs to be done in case they look dumb. Here are some of the things you will hear from the manager who has told the CEO that you will piss in a toaster for them: “I told the CEO we can piss in a toaster for $1000. I’ve done the hard part of researching it. Now you just need to piss in the toaster by next Tuesday!” “I looked online, and ordered a toaster off Amazon for $20. Why won’t you just piss in the toaster for the CEO?” “The CEO is always right! Just piss in the toaster.” “What if I get one of those 4 slice toaste
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Don't take the bait - don't feed them JADE!

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Narcissists need attention of any kind, and learn that a surefire way to get attention is to create drama and conflict - arguments about pointless stuff. For example, a 33-word message about a bike day at school will go like this. There is a bike day at school next Thursday. [Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house. He can collect his bike from my house instead. That was a classic three part "bait sandwich" - did you see it? Opener: "There is a bike day at school next Thursday." Bait: "[Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house." Closer/Glory-seeking: "He can collect his bike from my house instead." The opener sets the stage, lulling you into a false sense of security. But the second sentence is the bait.  Instantly, after 15 years of abuse, you recoil to the defensive, with factual statements like: "I don't make him ride it!" "It's an old bike he has a
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