The next few posts

Over the next few weeks I'll be rescuing posts from an old blog and reposting them here. Re-reading them has reminded me how toxic my old job was, and how good my current job is. But some of them have relevance to abusive relationships, even if they were workplace instead of home...

Popular posts from this blog

Audiobook: "Loonshots" by Safi Bahcall

Image
A book about corporate cultures and how they can inhibit innovation or encourage it. It was a long book filled with many stories, was enjoyable, but I only got two real ideas from it: Strategy Innovation vs Product Innovation - both are important Balancing your organisation at a critical point between two states - ensuring that the "franchise" part of the business balances with the "loonshot" part of the business, with neither part of the business stifling the other part. Enjoyable listen, 4/5 for the excellent anecdotes.
Read more

Don't take the bait - don't feed them JADE!

Image
Narcissists need attention of any kind, and learn that a surefire way to get attention is to create drama and conflict - arguments about pointless stuff. For example, a 33-word message about a bike day at school will go like this. There is a bike day at school next Thursday. [Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house. He can collect his bike from my house instead. That was a classic three part "bait sandwich" - did you see it? Opener: "There is a bike day at school next Thursday." Bait: "[Son] doesn't want to take the girls bike you make him ride at your house." Closer/Glory-seeking: "He can collect his bike from my house instead." The opener sets the stage, lulling you into a false sense of security. But the second sentence is the bait.  Instantly, after 15 years of abuse, you recoil to the defensive, with factual statements like: "I don't make him ride it!" "It's an old bike he has a...
Read more

Life Tricycle

 My life is like a tricycle - and the three wheels are sleep, diet and exercise. If I eat the wrong foods, I'll get a carb-coma, sleep badly, and I won't have energy for exercise. If I don't exercise, I sleep badly and the next day, my energy level drops and I crave sugary/caffeinated foods If I don't get enough sleep, I feel too tired to exercise and I crave sugary/caffeinated foods If just one wheel of the tricycle is missing, the whole thing just drags over and crashes in the dirt. And if my tricycle isn't working, I won't stand a chance of juggling my kids, my work or a social life. For me, Self Care involves: Avoiding "white carbohydrates"; these foods make me feel bloated, woolly-brained or tired Avoiding sugary foods; these foods give me a short sugar rush followed by a bigger sugar crash Eating lots of fruit and vegetables, with sensible amounts of meat and dairy Going to bed at 10pm, and getting up at 6:30am, so I get at least 8 hours of sleep...
Read more